What is sibling bullying? Adults often encourage kids to tell when they are being bullied or when they see others being bullied. Kids are reluctant to tell adults because they don't want to be called a tattle tale. There is a difference between tattling and telling. Telling is sometimes called reporting. Try to determine if a child observing these situations should to tell an adult or if they would just be tattling. Make a list of rules to help decide if it is telling or tattling.
Remember, you tell an adult when you are concerned about safety and someone might get hurt. You tell if it is important and urgent. Teach your children to ask themselves: "Is this about me or about other people? The other people should tell instead. Give examples of when you should and shouldn't tell an adult. Think of situations that may come up in and outside of school. A few situations in school might be bullying, cutting in line, and stealing.
Outside of school, the child might have to deal with a stranger coming up to them, temptation to do something inappropriate, or a confrontation with another child. Come up with a specific problem, place, and people. Tell the concrete example as if it were a story.
Ask the child to decide whether or not to come to an adult with the problem. Should he tell an adult about this problem? Probably not. Another example would be, Sarah took Fred's lunchbox and won't give it back. Yes, she should. Role play. If you are having trouble making the difference between reporting and tattling clear, try acting out different scenarios. For example, role play a situation where a child is calling another child a mean name.
See how the child you are role-playing with reacts and guide them through the hypothetical scenario. Remind children about the difference. You should not expect children to immediately and fully understand the difference between telling and tattling. If the child still tattles, gently remind them why they are tattling and how to solve the problem on their own next time. Over time, the child will learn when they are coming to you with a problem that they can't solve on their own.
Part 3. Ask to speak privately with an adult. Teach the child how to speak to an adult when they think there is a problem. They should know that it is not appropriate to loudly tell on someone in the middle of class. Tell the child to politely ask to speak to an adult privately.
From there, tell them how to calmly explain the situation and ask for help. For example, a teacher or friend's parent is okay to approach, but it is not okay to walk up to a stranger. If there is immediate danger, tell the child that it is okay to tell the nearest adult what is happening. Figure out what you can do to solve the problem. Teach your child to stop and assess the problem before coming to an adult.
While empathy and perspective taking are incredibly important, these vital skills cannot be learned before a child is ready, and therefore do not govern behavior until a child is older, has internalized social mores and cares more deeply about making his friend happy.
So, until your child begins to develop empathy skills, guidance and rules are the most effective methods of keeping order. Rules work well with young children because their cognitive and moral development allows for mastering a set of simple instructions, and they are motivated to receive praise from adults for following them.
Kids may even think that they are being helpful when they tattle, and might expect praise for it. Tattling is a natural response to learning about rules, but your child can learn that it is not necessary in every rule-breaking situation. Keep in mind too that sometimes children tattle for other reasons beyond rule breaking, such as getting attention from grownups or because they want a peer to get in trouble.
This leads to a complicated situation: Children need an explicit rule not to tattle on other children … and an understanding that we do want them to report some rule violations to adults. We should always keep in mind how illogical this may seem to young children when we start thinking a child should intuitively know when to tell and when not to tattle. A child who has been drilled to follow rules takes them very seriously, leading them to tattling on friends and siblings no matter how minor the misbehavior.
Tattling on the other hand is when a child wants to get someone else in trouble or they want to avoid blame. Tattling is simply trying to get someone else in trouble. As the saying goes, there are three types of people in this world: those who like to talk about ideas, those who talk about events, and those who like to talk about other people.
0コメント